What it was like seeing it on TV at age 12
The primary watershed of my life.
It is pretty much accepted these days (2017) that the greatest, most inspiring, and most enchanting three two movies of all time are —
- The Exorcist (1973)
- The Shining (1980)
-
Evilspeak (1981)
… where by “best” I mean “best in any genre.”
The Shining and The Exorcist are also the two films that scared me the most. But I saw The Exorcist on TV. I don’t know how that changed things, but after watching it …
- I had a Bible on my nightstand for three months.
- I had a Regan hallucination a few months later in Yucatan, Mexico.
- I had to see a therapist.
- I received a Ouija board (which I still have) and a taxidermied black goat from my mom a year to the day later. She wasn’t aware of the synchronicity but I took it as massively important and the event reset the vector of my life.
On May 9,1981 there came a CBS Special Movie Presentation. It opened with a warning that has never been used prior or since:
The Exorcist is a film dealing with the supernatural. Parental discretion is advised.
The warning and the film was a one-off event. Americans love violence but violence used to get warnings on TV. Americans love sex but hate the sex of other people, so sex always gets a warning and is seen as more violent than violence. But … the supernatural? Never before has “the supernatural” been a problem. How is it a problem now?
Dealing with the supernatural. You mean like God, ESP, superheroes, wizards, clerics, and Willy Wonka? When has this ever been a problem?
The supernatural isn’t a problem, which means that the warning is a lie. There should have been a warning, but not that one. But what should the warning have been?
The Exorcist is the sexiest and most terrifying visuo-spiritual experience a young Christian dabbling in Satanism could ever endure. PTSD therapy is advised.
“Due to mature theme?” Was this written by Koreans? Since when is mature dangerous? You mean like reading Shakespeare or eating haggis? Mature is not the right word.
Some lovely soul has uploaded just the choicest cuts to YouTube. From the original broadcast. Recorded in pristine VHS. This clip is my new nostalgia talisman. (See below for the clip.)
Regan’s face is so great here. It’s midway between anger (she just belted Mom in the face), relief, and a tinge of surprise at her victory. Like a complex wine.
With it, I can connect an influence that terrified past-self. Or join him. In the most significant event in my early life.
Cliche today. Life-changing then.
Soon enough (1984), I would be sprinting from Ransom to Cozzoli's Pizza and back every day before football practice with Tor Hyams.
HOVER: Burke Dennings’ voice is here. Would you like to leave him a message?
Then I would discover Athene Occult Books and Curios, meet Vincent Lindamood, and experience The Exorcist in real life.
HOVER: Here is Regan’s answer to the question, “Then you must know my mother’s maiden name. What is it? What is it?”
By then, I had fully recovered—thanks mostly to the habituation therapy my doctor prescribed. (Masturbating to the most upsetting scenes every day after school.) By the ninth grade, I was pretty much cured. The first thing I did at Ransom was “tag” (it was called spray painting back then) the sailboat shack with a big DSR, meaning DIck Smith Rules. (I was the president of the Miami chapter of the Dick Smith fan club beginning in 1983.)