AC/DC: Important American Acid Fire

I just realized that AC/DC really is the official HELL band. They have “Highway to Hell” with Bonny Lad Scotty, and “Hell’s Bells” with acid throat Briany McJohnson. No other band at the time even had one hell song, except KISS, but the meaning of KISS-hell was the opposite of the Satanic Panic hell that fucktard Fundamentalists attached to Anti-Christ/Devil’s Child. “Hotter than Hell” is about a dominatrix (from EC Comics). Theirs is a patent leather and satin-and-lace “hell.” Nigga please …

AC/DC’s hell is Hell-hell, and they had two Hell songs. And they looked happy-to-be-evil on the cover of Highway to Hell, which I saw at Jonathan Hampton’s house whose sister Jessica was the hottest fucking blonde in the history of the universe, and went out with Wayne the Skateboarder who I later saw at Soo Se Cho’s Tae-Kwon-Do center in the Sunniland Shoppes shopping and strip mall zone near US-1 and 117th, SW. Those were the days!

Hell looked mighty good at 13. Sexy older sisters and Satanic AC/DC. And pot! And my contemporaneous friend Matt Bierman had an actual Popeye™ stand-up video arcade machine on his patio, next to the swimming pool.

That was the most fun I ever had in my life. Getting stoned with Matt and playing Popeye, swimming, and talking about how his dad Donald defended Jim Morrison when he whipped his cock out on stage in Miami Beach on March 1, 1969, when we were 2 months old.

He had an Apple ][e—the greatest computer of all time—and he had a game I did not (until I copied it from him). Evolution. Listening to the Doors and playing Evolution. That was the happiest time of my being 13.