Category: Memoirs

Lovecraft, Fingering, and Bon Scott

Why I was offended by “Big Balls” when I was 12

Diary of a 12 year-old prude

I have not always been comfortable accepting other people publicizing their interest in sex, mostly from my desire to protect The Children from the harmful Lovecraftian monsters that are our genitalia, their noxious and viscous fluids, and their hideous quivering, throbbing, and convulsive motions....

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The Gernsback spirit diagnostic

Flashback: Miami, 1992 (Spring)

I’d just graduated at Duke and back in Miami to visit my parents (and experience Hurricane Andrew) before my upcoming trip to India. I met with a gorgeous and sexy hippie chick that I’d melted with in 1989, my second Summer of Love, and she took me ...

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Feeling old

New startling Dick Smith facts about my life:

  1. I am now 15 years older than Travis Bickle from Taxi Driver.
  2. I am now five years older than Lankester Merrin in The Exorcist. Max von Sydow was 43 when Friedkin started filming The Exorcist (August 14th, 1972 – July 20th, 19...
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My Heroes

My heroes, in order of discovery:

Steve Austin, KISS, Dick Smith, DEVO, Jimmy Page, Jimi Hendrix, Aleister Crowley, Robert Anton Wilson, Timothy Leary, H. R. Giger, H. P. Lovecraft, Carl Jung, J. R. “Bob” Dobbs, Fred Alan Wolff, Nick Herbert, Joseph Campbell, Rick Roderick, Rudy Rucker, Fredric Jameson, Immanuel Kant, Ter...

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Best Father Ever

I’ve been destined since seventh grade to be the Best Father Ever.

I would be the most educational dad of all time.

Fantasy: We’re at a museum. We look at Boston 99.538—Heracles wearing the Nemean Lion skin and skull.

In the art, it looks to be no big deal. Do you k...

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What D&D means to me

I love my summer camp memories above all. But I hated—feared actually—my summer camp while I was there. Away from home and love and comfort, and living in a cabin with many strange others, I was scared. Boys meet boys as variables and challenges. On the first day, Ara Zeitz sho...

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Childhood peak experiences

Nothing compares to childhood peak experiences. There are certain magickal self-making moments in the past, in childhood, when you were overwhelmed by an explosive mixture of joy, being-lost-in-experience, and sudden realization that “you” were the lucky enjoyer at the center of all this wonder.

This world has been given to me?...
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Highest hope of all 1970s boys.

My adventures as a 1970s space utopian

In 1979, when I was 10, I lived inside a NASA-centric and bionic world. Humans were finally capable of the ultimate power, speed, and flight—not in fantasy, but in reality, through bionics, jetpack, plane, and rocket. Like every other boy in the world, I wanted to be an astronaut. Or a...

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Aquaman: water, sunlight, crystal, chrome

When I was 10 years old, I decided that Aquaman was the most important Super Friend out of the Super Friends (from the Saturday morning TV show Super Friends). Why? Because he was the least powerful, and therefore the least “cool” according to the idiots attracted to the superhero genre, who...

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