Sitting in WF. Next to me: a happy and functional Filipino family. Why am I immersed in misery and despairing nostalgia while the father next to me is babbling like a Covey Christian to his kids about what the most practical course of action would be?
Then I realized—states are end results. There’s no way I could leap from being X to being not-X. This is because any X is the last in a series of tiny choices and turns of attention, lefts instead of rights, giving-ins instead of forcings, over years. Years of tiny choices then X. I could never leap into being this ultra-balanced Filipino dad.
But I can get there with Perdurabo and by degrees.
Reeling yourself in from far away
To “get” yourself into your new “being,” look at yourself from the endpoint of the goal but at a great distance. Reel yourself in but keep that person (which represents you as you are now) far away. Studies show that leaping and assuming achievement—a la Law of Attraction—are actually counterproductive. Realism about the massive amount of work involved will help you.