We shall never forget …

In memoriam 
💀
Al’s Newsstand
8219 SW 124th St
Miami, FL 33156

Al’s Newsstand is one of the Holy Trine holiest Temple of Occult Power in Miami, the others being Barefoot Mailman and Coral Castle. Oh holy, holy, holy. The kinds of magical places Ray Bradbury writes about. Haunted and haunting, your soul stays behind when you visit. You get absorbed and the best of you remains clinging, like a clear jelly, to the display rows of Famous Monsters, Cousin Eerie, Uncle Creepy, Vampirella, and the scariest demon bully of them all, Alfred E. Newman. That disgusting redheaded bully asshole stupid ugly elf. Fucking bastard. Nothing funny about him at all.

Famous Monsters and, much later, Fangoria were in the back on the left on the ankle-level white shelves in that dim, smoky-tan light. It was dark—the secret place your parents didn’t want you to go. The basement in the scary movie. The bookstore where you will find the Necronomicon. Secret books of occult power.

Oh! The occult was super fashionable from 67 – 74. Hugely popular. In every TV series, something occult would pop up, probably as ESP cards or a tarot cards. So great! Good lord! And the book series from

The most incredible hardcover academic publication ever in the history of Western civilization. It was a masterwork encyclopedia. It was like a one-job Scientific American on anything related to the new metaphysical depth that had been evoked by syncretic consideration of other popular interests—shamanism (Carlos Casteneda, what a daredevil genius to make all that shit up!), the J. B. Rhine

the Conan books, the Dune books, Penthouse, Hustler, Planet of the Ape candy, Pez dispensers, and … the grumpy, intimidating, and silent old bald German mafioso Al behind the counter. He was the hairy smoky bald king of the Satanic-joyful naughty occult playland.

I mean Vampirella. Jesus. What is that? The sexiest possible thing ever. Sexy pinup girl. Sexy Veronica (from the Archies) haircut. Sexy red bikini. And she’s a vampire, which means kinky and will dominate you. Nothing hotter than dominant lover. DNA loves nothing more than that kind of direct display of self-value expressed as power. And the dominatrix—that is the fantasy. Being a vampire goes with this because the bite on the neck is standard erotic action. Vampiring is necking—lots of sexy bite-kissing and hard kissing and sucking and hickeys and lots of fast, darting tongue action. Jesus. So this was THE fantasy female for young boys if they were sane and self-aware. It was what Hegel calls objective spirit. The inner desire manifests fully, in an object that takes on the maximal number of its marks. Vampirella is what happens when desire just pours out into an object that gets all its aspects. Vampirella covers the most aspects in a single object. Period. Elvira. Vampirella. Barbarella, if she was angry at you and willing to dominate. These are the mandatory girl-objects, but inflected in the perfect way. The vampire part is just the “depth” level of DNA’s desire to be dominated, finding the healthiest possible partner for your 50% future self.

Al’s Newstand—orgone

[DATE RANGE; EVENT NOTE?]

Researchers say that the volume of space at this latitude and longitude is permeated by a morphogenetic field. The specifics of the field, the shape of its energy fingerprint, is unknown. But construction workers have noted that any untethered bits of matter inside the location

• Legend has it that …*

falling inside it into the form of the original store, beginning with the Head of Al. Locals claim that, if it were not for continual intervention by humans, the original store would reemerge.

Click here to see the current state of the matter blob that has been shapeshifting at the holy location.

According to this link, Al was alive and kicking behind the counter—and in front of his Satanic doppelgänger, the dark and lifelike coconut head smoking a cigar, high on the wall behind him.